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The Back Office

Updated: July 8th, 2008 05:26 PM GMT-05:00

Managing in the Weasel-ocracy

Barry Maher

One the other hand . . .
One large corporation "cannot, after extensive study, uncover any reasonable explanation" for why so many of its best people either turn down promotions or leave for management opportunities elsewhere - in some cases lower-paying management opportunities. They should try talking to some of their employees.

"The company brags about being a meritocracy," a manager named Jonathan, says. "And there's no question that some outstanding people have risen high in the ranks. But too often it's more a luck-ocracy. Too often, damn good people with years of first-rate service get demoted simply because the economy in their region goes into the tank. Being surrounded by demoted ex-managers doesn't give you a warm and fuzzy feeling for your own chances. Then too, we've got some low grade morons who got promoted simply because they happened to be occupying space in an area where the economy turned around."

"I've got an MBA," a planner named Bill adds, "which the company was nice enough to pay for and which I'll probably never use. At least not around here. I've already turned down three promotions. Jonathan hasn't quite finished his MBA or he'd realize that fundamentally this company is neither a meritocracy nor a luck-ocracy. Technically it's actually a weasel-ocracy. Too many of our so-called leaders have gotten where they are because of their outstanding following skills. They know just who to play up to and when: always kissing just the right posterior at just the right time. They protect their own butts by never taking a risk or seizing an opportunity - never doing any real leading."

Jonathan nodded. "Take the GM who currently runs this division. His last boss - our previous VP - had a mustache, wore three pieces suits and wire rim glasses; and he had his daytimer surgically attached to his right hand. So, coincidentally enough did our GM."

"When they walked into a room it looked like Tweedledum and Tweedle-dumber," Bill added.

"You never saw such a shameless toady. Then the VP was demoted in favor of new blood. The very next time I saw the GM, the glasses were replaced by contacts, the mustache was gone and the day-timer forgotten. Fortunately, the new female VP is big on pants suits or this particular leader would be sporting dresses and pantyhose."

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