You've probably heard or even said these words at some point in your career. It's usually a sign that indicates a battle will soon begin. But what if you could find a way to diffuse or even prevent these types of situations before they occur? You can - if you know how to influence.

Some estimates suggest that in our lifetime we will influence 10,000 people! This number may sound like an exaggeration, but if you think about your daily conversations, you will see how quickly influencing situations add up. For example, it may be as simple as getting to pick the movie you will see at the cinema or it could be more complex, like getting an employee to do something he has seemed unwilling to do in the past.

If you're good at influencing, you are able to get what you want or need while increasing trust and decreasing defensiveness. You can also confront someone-about their work performance, behavior, or other important issue-without conflict. Here are some tips to get you started:

The Bank of Trust
Have you ever had someone who you didn't trust ask you to do something? What was your reaction? Did you do what they asked? Most likely, you dismissed their request. After all, why would you do something for someone whose motives you were questioning?

Whenever you think of trust, think of a bank account. Every time you do something to build trust, you make a deposit. The more deposits you make, the more trust you build. Every now and again you may have a slight breach of trust, perhaps due to a misunderstanding. We'll call this a withdrawal.