There is nothing quite as telling about another individual as the human ritual known as the handshake. In this politically correct time, where perhaps a “fist bump” is preferred during cold and flu season, there are still many benefits from offering a good old and strong handshake.
Several myths exist about the origin of the handshake, some of them probably true. The best one I’ve ever run across is the extension of the right hand to another person, especially between two English knights about to sword fight, displaying that neither person has no concealed weapon in his right hand, the dominant hand that might hold a knife, sword or spear.
The handshake can still be used today to project many powerful signals between contractors and their employees, customers and suppliers. Let me share just a few for consideration.
1. The Handshake of Greeting. The most common use of a handshake is when two individuals are meeting, especially for the first time. Such a handshake allows the two people to make physical contact, breaking the ice between the two individuals. This action puts both parties at ease about interacting with each other.
2. The Handshake of the “Deal.” A handshake is quite common for most contractors as it’s often the first step to winning a project with a customer. Even before the bid is signed or the contract is awarded, the contractor and his customer might shake hands, insinuating that the contractor has been awarded the project.
3. The Handshake of Reassurance. This handshake is often extended by the contractor or a construction leader to an employee who might have made a mistake and is now feeling a bit less confident. Just a simple handshake initiated by the leader can reaffirm the employee that he is “ok” and to hang in there with the work. Such a handshake has probably prevented thousands of workers from quitting their jobs, thinking that they are going to get canned by their boss.
4. The Handshake of “Do You Understand Me?” Sooner or later the contractor or leader will have the employee who tries his patience. When an employee is being arrogant, stubborn or just not complying with what is needed, the contractor might want to shake the employee’s hand just before the worker leaves the workplace for the day. Shaking his hand at this time is often followed up with the following words, “Joe, are we clear about what I instructed you to do earlier today? If we have a repeat of your behavior tomorrow we’ll take this conversation inside and begin to document your negative action.”
Such a handshake as this can be difficult for many contractors, but strongly shaking a poor performer’s hand and looking him in the eyes often can send more than just a verbal warning. This handshake means, “I’m serious and I’m not messing anymore with you.”
5. The Handshake of Goodbye. For contractors meeting with customers, bankers and vendors/suppliers, I always recommend a handshake to end the conversation. This physical action does tend to help solidify the conversation that it is over and now it’s time to exit. This handshake also signals a closing of the moment with hopes of meeting again.
6. The Handshake of Congratulations. This is perhaps the one handshake that every contractor and construction leader would like to give more often to workers. Whenever an individual or crew has performed above the call of duty, it is the wise contractor who personally tries to shake every hand involved. Such a handshake received by employees from their leader is such a motivational experience. Don’t ever underestimate the power of a handshake, and especially when there is something to celebrate!
How best to shake hands
Now, when it comes to shaking hands, how should a contractor actually practice this centuries’ old tradition? Let’s look at a few techniques that most leaders will tend to admit works!
- Thumbs up and meet “V to V.” The normal handshake on a job site is when the initiator extends his or her right hand, and with his thumb pointing up, allows the “V” formed on their hand to interact with the (hopefully) extended hand of the receiver.
- Squeeze the hand strong but not overpowering. The goal of the handshake is not to prove who is the strongest. However, firm handshakes do tend to get received better by those who are receiving the invitation. Too strong and you might come across as overpowering, a person interested in dominating the relationship; Too weak and you might be taken as less than strong, perhaps even timid or unsure of the relationship. Your soft handshake might promote thoughts in the receiver that you might not be sure of even wanting to back up what you are selling, much less what you are saying.
- Single Pump rather than “Milking the Cow.” Most handshakes on the jobsite or with customers need only contain the traditional “single pump.” One nice and strong tug at the clasp of hands and you’re ready to release and move on with the conversation. To “Milk the Cow” involves a regular up and down motion that sort of leaves the receiver wondering what in the world the other person’s problem is.
- Make eye contact while shaking hands. This is the icing on the cake for handshaking. Looking directly into the eyes of the other person while shaking hands sends strong signals of acceptance, seriousness and sincerity.
- Limit the “high 5” and other sports-related contacts. While slapping others on their lower backsides or “high fiving” might be fun to do at a ball game, be careful of using this form of handshake as a contractor, as the leader of your people. Have some fun when it’s time, but protect the full handshake for those moments when you need to project that you’re a leader during work hours and for work situations.
Now, for some who are health conscious, there do appear to be recommendations from our health providers to cut down on hand-to-hand contact as our hands can carry germs received from others. While I do tend to pack some antibacterial lotion during the known flu and cold seasons, I have found that I still try to shake hands more than the new fist bump that is being encouraged. Look, I don’t want to go against science, but there might be overwhelming reasons to shake the hands of others for the reasons we’ve outlined above.
There is power in the handshake! As a contractor or as a construction leader at any level, begin to use the handshake as your signature way of greeting, encouraging, building accountability and establishing credibility.
Now, do yourself a favor and shake a coworker’s hand or the hand of one of your employees whom you trust. Ask him what sort of handshake he thinks you have.
Shake that hand, leader!
