10 Tips for Strong Eye Contact /09-24-2014

Feb 11, 2015

Last week I wrote about the importance of strong eye contact – about how the way you use your eyes can help or hurt the impressions you make.

So here are 10 tips to help you improve your eye contact.

1. Believe in yourself first. Confidence is important in just about every leadership behavior category and it is certainly important when making eye contact. While the other person might not be confident, it is important that the contractor believe in his skills, knowledge, experience and commitment to being professional.

2. When Directing or Receiving Discussion…Look at the Eyes. Looking in the general direction doesn’t get it done here. It’s critical to not miss the main part of the body that reads sincerity, trust and confidence and that’s the eyes. Don’t look at the shoes, the cap or the mouth; look at the eyes of the other person.

3. Maintain 60% Eye Contact While Interacting with Another Person. Maintaining your eye contact with another person 60% of the time sounds like a lot but it’s actually a very good mix of what most interactions need. Twenty percent more or less can send the other person into hiding or make him feel like he is wasting your time. Now, you don’t need to get a stop watch out to time yourself, but you will need to be aware of keeping the eye contact maintained.

4. Use Looking Away Strategically. Whenever you are asked a question, it’s actually quite normal to look off in another direction for just a few seconds as if to be considering the question. This effort is acceptable and can reinforce to the “asker” that you are seriously considering the question. When directing the talking, looking off can be used to look like you are trying to find just that right word or phrase. This too is acceptable, but it’s always important to bring your eyes back to the other individual within a few seconds.

5. Use Focused Eye Contact When Shaking Hands or When Making a Strong and Clear Point! Just as making eye contact during a handshake can convey trust and sincerity, so too does good eye contact assist your message when you have just delivered a strong statement. For example, you inform an individual that he “must pick up the pace” on a task. Making this statement should be done in conjunction with looking right at the individual. This conveys seriousness about the situation for the individual to take to heart.

6. Make Focused Eye Contact When Recognizing Great Effort & Results. Whenever you get the chance to recognize good effort, performance and results…Just Do It! Be sure that you direct your eyes to “speak” with the same enthusiasm that your voice and words are be conveying. It’s hard for someone to believe you are really encouraging them or saying “Thanks” if you don’t look at them during the exchange.

7. Increase Eye Contact to 70% - 90% If Disciplining an Employee. When you have an employee displaying poor performance or behavior it is important to correct him. Increasing your time making eye contact with this employee while applying the corrective effort reinforces your message of compliance, discipline and seriousness.

8. Maintain More Eye Contact Whenever Listening! This is universally true whether you are listening to a customer, a supplier, a banker, another contractor, a peer, a leader and especially an employee. It’s fairly well documented that making and holding eye contact with someone speaking to you projects all sorts of positive signals to the speaker. It is a great form of respect to look at the speaker as they address you, confirming for them that you are in the conversation with them.

9. Move to a Slight Squint to Signal “Slow Down,” “I Don’t Understand,” or “I Disagree.” OK, now I’m getting a little in the weeds but your eyes project many things that plant a seed in a speaker’s brain that something other than what he is saying alone is taking place. Most speakers, when they observe a slight squint of the eyes, will slow down, even stop to ask if there is a question.

10. Keep Your Eyes Up and Moving Around When Visiting Job Sites. Whenever a contractor or construction leader visits a job site he needs to keep his head and eyes up, looking at and about the site. Just this physical effort alone sends clear signals to workers that the leader is observing, measuring, comparing and overall information-gathering. It’s a much more positive presence for the leader to convey than a leader who keeps his head down, looking at the ground just in front of him.

If you are fundamentally sound with your own eye contact then work to assist the other leaders and workers in your company to strengthen their eye contact. For any leaders at any level, the amount of eye contact speaks volumes to your confidence, your belief in others and your enthusiasm for your company, project and your people.

Don’t miss an opportunity to speak with your eyes. It’s the power of your eye contact that strengthens your leadership…in the eyes of others.

Looking Ahead!

Brad Humphrey