In 1998 I wrote a book on how to be a better leader. It was called The 21st Century Supervisor. In an early chapter on communication, I addressed the much-needed skill called listening. I wrote:
Listening is the lost of art of communication!
I’m not much of a prophet but, boy, is this coming back in spades in today’s construction companies and the projects they execute. When conducting studies across our industry on various topics, our own Center for Competitive Intelligence & Development (CCID) has found that communication continues to be one of the most important skills often criticized by construction leaders and workers alike.
One contractor recently told me that, “Brad, there are more communication methods and tools today than ever, but nobody is listening anymore or any better.” I agree with this contractor.
But the “power” of listening isn’t easily addressed through a software or “smart” phone, no matter who makes it. So, how can we increase our own “personal listening software”? The result could greatly increase your knowledge, your awareness of critical issues and situations, and lead to more individuals respecting you.
Let’s take a very brief look at this small stick of communication dynamite. The benefits could be huge for you and your effectiveness as a leader.
1. You must WANT to listen. Ok, too easy? Can you think of a few individuals you almost never listen to…in almost any situation? I can think of a few, and that’s exactly the sort of internal mental block that keeps us from listening effectively. If you don’t recognize any value in another human being then listening will be of no value to you. You must want to really listen to maximize the power from listening.
2. You must prepare your body to listen. Try holding a conversation with another individual while your body is facing away from the other person. It doesn’t work well.
3. Establish eye contact and nod your head…periodically. I addressed the “power of eye contact” in an earlier article in this series, and it is doubly important when listening. Remember, eye contact is your “non-physical touch” that tells the other person that he is important and you are giving him respect and time by listening. He is valuable! By the way, nodding your head actually helps you more to listen physically than it does to affirm to the speaker that you are listening to him. Nodding of one’s head is not to become an “apple bobber,” but just a simple nod or tilt of your head periodically, especially when the speaker has just shared some significant information. This physical action on your part makes the listening more “active” and less “passive.”
4. Take notes if more than quick response. Research has shown repeatedly that taking notes while listening improves your own retention and assists you to maintain your focus on the conversation. Additionally, taking notes sends a strong signal to the speaker that you think what he says is important. For those who might be tempted to lie to you, taking notes can take a little of the “spin” out and deliver more concrete and specific facts. (Ask a policeman who takes the statements of witnesses to a crime.)
5. Verbally acknowledge agreement and ask questions. To verbally acknowledge the speaker when you are listening is to throw in a few “I sees” or “Oks” — just enough to keep you focused and to let the speaker know that you are still with him. Asking questions not only reminds the speaker that you are listening but it also allows you to chase topics or issues that are less clear or need more expansion.
6. Conduct a personal debrief and follow-up. Upon finishing a conversation, especially one that may have been longer than anticipated, it’s a good idea to take a moment and review what you think you just heard. If you took notes you might go through them, item by item, to ascertain if you are missing anything that suddenly pops into your head. Follow up with the individual you visited might be as simple as texting a message of thanks, such as “I’ll get back to you on this matter,” or some such message. This confirms your listening, understanding and interest to address whatever issue was at play.
7. Make the time to listen…state a time limit. This might sound a bit silly but try letting another person know, when he has approached you, that you have five minutes before you must make a meeting, take call, etc. This isn’t just a defensive technique on your part. Providing a specific time limit to your conversation will actually drive the other person to be more succinct, clear and focus on the “major” issues.
8. Smile…a little! Many contractors can be very intimidating to others by their blank expression and “beady” eye contact. Smile just a little — unless you are listening to someone explaining how bad your truck was totaled! You do not need to be the “joker” with a painted smile on your face, but even just a little expression can relax the speaker. If your intent is to intimidate or to demean then by all means don’t smile! But remember, such facial movement might well prevent you from getting the needed information that the speaker could provide.
9. Prepare for the listening purpose. What is the purpose for your listening? To gain knowledge, measurements, dimensions, the “go” on the project, etc.? If you are attending a meeting with a client, what’s the purpose for the meeting? If you are asking for a discussion with another individual then let him — if possible — explain the purpose. This will assist his own effort to listen more effectively.
10. Don’t be shy about asking for a repeat. This final tip is for those of us who sometimes are hurried or might not want to admit that we didn’t quite get what we were told. Asking for a “repeat” is nothing more than just asking the speaker to back up and repeat what he shared. This might mean asking him to repeat word for word what he just said, or it might mean he has to try to explain something in a different manner.
There are many resources available that can assist you to become a better listening leader. Remember, most staff or workers want to work for a construction leader that listens, asks others their opinion and takes the time to do both of these.
Don’t wait…start listening today with more effort and attention. Follow the 10 recommendations above and watch your conversations become more helpful to your decision-making and leadership.
Here’s to hoping you listen with both ears!
Purchase your copy of Brad's The 21st Century Supervisor book from Amazon.
